


Sam's partner in crime

by WickedRitual



Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon), Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
Genre: Begging, Double Penetration, Established Relationship, Hitchhiking, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Neck Kissing, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Kissing, Shameless Smut, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26210314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedRitual/pseuds/WickedRitual
Summary: Sam and Guy find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere with the sun quickly setting. There is a shred of hope as a car approaces from the horizon. The Travel buddies are in for a surprise as they run into an old friend from Sam's past.
Relationships: Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)
Kudos: 19





	Sam's partner in crime

**Author's Note:**

> Don't let the summary fool you, it's not that deep. Porn without plot.

“If you had just bought gas instead of Green eggs and Ham this wouldn’t have happened!”

“Hey, look on the bright side Guy! Were not hungry! And were in nature! Getting exercise!”

“We have been ‘in nature getting exercise’ for three hours Sam!”

Sam took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the fresh clean air around them “ahhh smell that fresh grass!”

Guy just grunted. It was getting late, they hadn’t seen a car pass by in over an hour, the sun was nearly set, soon they’d have no light, no warmth, just the dark and endless road ahead.

Sam seemed to notice Guys nerves, so he held his hand. “Don’t worry Guy! I am sure a car will pull up next to us any minute! They will probably have some hot coco and offer us a free bed in their nearby cabin!”

“I would rather not be murdered by a strange woodsman" Guy rolled his eyes, but Sam’s optimism wasn’t so far fetched. Guy had learned that Sam was impossibly lucky, like reality was somehow tailored to his every whim.

“Look! Here comes a car now!!” Sam sniffed the air “I can smell the coco!”

Guy looked behind him to see a small set of lights winding down the black empty road.

Guy stuck out his thumb as the vehicles lights got bigger and brighter with closeness Sam leapt up onto Guys shoulders, also sticking his thumb out with a big inviting smile.

Guy got nervous as the car approached, it looked badly beaten up with miss matching doors and rusting edges. The windows were tinted, so even though the car had made a complete stop they still couldn’t see the occupants.

“Let me do the talking Sam" Guy mumbled as the passenger side window slowly made its way down. Guy leaned in to greet their rescuer “thank you for stopping. We have been walking this endless forest for hours. If you could please drop us off at the nearest phone we will be eternally grateful”

The Who in the car was shrouded in darkness, still keeping silent. It gave Guy an uneasy feeling. Before Guy could retract his plea and chance their survival walking this long stretch of road Sam piped up.

“Also my friends leg is broken!” Sam yelled from behind, feeling more of a sob story would help their chances. “You wouldn’t let a man with a broken leg walk all the ways to a phone, would you?!”

“Please ignore him. He’s not well” Guy put his palm over Sam’s mouth, trying to shut him up.

“I would know that trick anywhere…” the figure that was shadowed in darkness said ominously. Guy was just about to back away before the car door shot open, turning on the automatic lights and revealing the stranger.

“Hector old buddy is that you!?” a bubbly voice came from the man in the car, he sounded as happy as he looked with a wide genuine smile. The man was as harmless as one could get.

Sam let out an excited gasp that went on for a little too long “Scott!?!

Guys expression was one of annoyed disbelief. As if to say ‘oh, of course Sam knows him’ Guy really shouldn’t be surprised. The miracles in Sam’s life just kept getting more.. miraculous.

“Well hop on in! Don’t be a stranger!” Scott gestures his hand for them to let themselves into the car.

Sam jumped into the front seat as Guy climbed into the cramped back seat. The car was the perfect size for Sam and Scott, from what Guy could tell they looked about the same height. Scott had a lime green body with a yellow face and hands, there were two tuffs of fur on his head which made Scott look like he had pointy rabbit ears.

“you look so different now Hector! Lost that gotti!” Scott’s laugh was friendly, he reminded Guy a lot of Sam.

Which was a horrifying realization now that there were two of them.

“After soul searching I realized the hair-do just wasn’t for me” Sam.. or rather Hector said “I decided to go back to collage and joined a band--"

Guy kicked the back of Sam’s chair as his friend was getting a little lost in character. The life of Hector was behind Sam now, he wasn’t going to be someone he wasn’t, not even if it meant people would no longer like him, because he had Guy, who would always like him.

“Yeah, Hector, you sure changed. A lot" Guy emphasized Sam’s fake name, urging him to do what was right.

Sam realized Guys meaning. He didn’t need to make up some impressive story or personality. He would be himself, take it or leave it.

“…actually.. I never went to collage, ever” Sam admitted

“What? I thought you had a masters in eating with chopsticks?” Scott looked confused

“I’ve never even taken a class on eating with chopsticks let alone mastered it!” Sam revealed dramatically

“That explains so much” Scott said, remembering Hector stabbing his sushi with chopsticks.

“That’s not all. Hector Jives.. isn’t my real name"

Scott’s eyes widened suddenly as he stepped on the car breaks in shock.

Both Guy and Sam got worried this was their final stop. Then Scott said something that neither expected.

“My names not really Scott”

“What?!” Sam shouted happily, while Guy shouted in shock, honestly what are the odds.

“What’s your name then!?” Sam asked excitedly

“You first!” the former Scott shot back, also excitedly

“Let’s say it at the same time!” Sam suggested as the perfect compromise

Guy sighed in exasperation as the two counted down from three. Once they reached the number one they both shouted in unison

“SAM I-AM" 

“SAL IS-ME"

“Woah!” they said again.

“Its like I’m meeting you for the first time all over again!” Sal laughed as he put his arm around Sam’s shoulders and hugged him.

“I should have seen it coming!” Sal chuckled as he sat back into his seat, pressing his foot back on the gas petal and zoomed off again.

“Everyone used aliases in our line of work" Sal mused, remembering the old times. Hustling anyone who would give them a moment of time. Taking what wasn’t theirs. Sure they were petty criminals, but even then their identities weren’t given so easily.

It took a lot of trust to be real with people in their field. So Sal felt especially honored that Sam would freely relinquish his identity.

“I’ve put all that crime stuff behind me now” Sam admitted proudly “things got a little too crazy for me” which was saying a lot “then I met this Guy!”

Sal smiled into the rear view mirror “and what might your name be?”

“Guy, Guy am-I" The knox introduced himself

Sal laughed “Real names only in this car!”

Guy grimaced “Guy is my REAL name"

Sam nodded “Really it is! Weird right?”

“oh yeah, that’s a uhh unique name" Sal remarked, there was no malice in his words, only his honest opinion. “but it suits you!”

“Thank you" Guy said

“One thing about Hect.. Sam hasn’t changed from before. He still has a thing for tall Guys” Sal laughed at his pun

Guy choked on his tongue, then coughed, trying to clear his throat.

“Oh sorry. That was blunt. Was it a secret?” Sal looked guilty for his intrusive nature.

“I told you Guy! People can just sense the aura of looove around us!” Sam stood up on his chair, looking over the headrest back at Guy with a lovey-dovy look.

Guy just blushed and folded his arms.

“Oh! Were here!” Sal announced as he pulled up to a humble looking log cabin

“This place is in the middle of nowhere!” Guy said in confusion

“I know. Perfect right? I hide here when I’m on the lamb” Sal smiled

“Don’t tell Lamb you’ve seen me, she talks to Goat, and Goats got it out for us” Sam said worriedly

Sal laughed “piss Goat off did you?” I wont tell. Definitely wouldn’t want to be in your shoes though" Sal opened his driver side door, Sam and Guy also stepped out of the car

“Yeah. Guy kinda strapped a bomb to his back..”

Sal seemed impressed, he whistled and looked Guy up and down “I thought you were more of a straight lace type. You’re even more dastardly than we were in our prime!”

Guy felt the need to defend himself, he certainly didn’t want to be seen as some kind of bomber “I didn’t strap it to him! He put it on himself! And it wasn’t.. it wasn’t supposed to blow up! I mean I.. had a feeling it would.. but it wasn’t a bomb!”

“Sam, you hang around some tough crowds” Sal laughed “let’s get inside”

Sam nudged at Guy and grinned, walking confidently to the cabin door.

\---

Sal, Guy and Sam sat in the living room on an old couch. The cabin looked like it had once been quite nice but after spending years uncared for and rarely visited it was far beyond saving. Now it was just a place for strays.

“Woah. A real live chickeraffe… that’s quite a sight" Sal said “I should have visited The Glurfsberg zoo sooner.. now I’ll never see one in person" he laughed a little

“You’re not missing much, just a lot of slobber" Guy mused, feeling a ping of sadness as he missed their surrogate feathery son.

“So you’ve really turned over a new leaf after all that?”

“Well…I mean.. mostly" Sam admitted “gotta get by somehow! A few little hustles never hurt anyone!” it was a hard habit to break, Sam had lived his lifetime as an actor, being whoever was most convenient for the time. Sometimes he could still get sucked into a new role.

Guy remembered the time Sam went around as Sam Bass, famous cowboy bandit and train robber.. it was an eventful week, but Sam had a really nice southern drawl to his voice.

“I still catch him in a lot of lies. They become easier to spot once you learn his ticks" Guy admitted. Though it was likely Sam would never outgrow his tendency to stretch the truth Guy knew him well enough now to spot those little inconsistencies.

“Oh? Do tell what are his give aways?”

“I have a feeling a game of high risk poker might break out if I told you" Guy smirked “Sam’s secrets are safe with me"

“Sam has no need to play poker, clearly he already hit the jackpot" Salas giving Guy bedroom eyes.

Guy was a little startled by the flirtatious comment, he looked at Sam to see his boyfriends reaction, only he saw the same bedroom eyes Sal was giving. Guy suddenly felt like he was burning up.

“You’re going red" Sal mused “is he shy? How cute"

“Sal and I were Thick as thieves” Sam purred “We shared everything" Sal continued his friends thoughts as Sam put a hand on Guys thigh “we were better together" Sam emphasized “At everything" He wiggling his brows

Guy would admit he’d never been shared between two men before- or anyone for that matter. The idea of not only getting one person to like him, but two seemed far fetched to say the least.

And yet here he was

Sal moved in closer, putting his hand on Guys thigh opposite Sam’s “We can show you the best night you’ve ever had. You deserve to be treated”

Guys eyes were wide, his pupils small and his face red. It felt like steam was coming off his head. “O..okay” he said very bashfully, whispering his agreement.

Sam got a giddy smile, biting his bottom lip. Guy couldn’t help but notice his eyes were so full of excitement, it caused the knox to wonder what embarrassing expression he must have wore at this time.

Both who’s leaned up further, closing in the gap between themselves and Guy until their lips were close enough to kiss at his neck.

Guy had never been a very intimate person, he hadn’t much experience with physical contact which meant his skin extra sensitive when touched. With Sam it was manageable, but with both participants there was no way to predict where he’d be touched next.

He felt strangely delicate as his skin twitched whenever Sam’s fingers gently brushed over his stomach, or when Sal's hand wandered down his back.

His mind was overly focused on the contact, his fur stood on end, the feeling of fur against fur almost tickled, but in the most pleasant way. 

“Mmm, he is so sensitive" Sal hummed, his lips still kissing at Guys neck.

“I know" Sam agreed, he couldn’t help but lovingly snuzzle into the crook of Guys neck “he melts right into your hands"

Guy just blushed harder as the boys spoke like he wasn’t listening.

He could feel every little breath of air blowing his fur, he could even feel the heat radiating from their palms and lips as they kissed his neck.

Guy gasped as felt a slight sting, Sam’s little love bites were not deep enough to leave a mark but enough to ache. It only added to the barrage of sensations Guy was feeling at the moment.

As Sam lightly bite down on Guys neck Sal began to suck, leaving dark hickies under his fur around his mane, not concerning himself with how the Knox would hide them, if he even could.

Every touch made him tremble, yielding quick results as his body felt like a raging furnace. He couldn’t stop himself from panting as his heart rate increased with his temperature.

As Guy whimpered with pleasure he brought his hands to his face, covering what he knew must have been terribly embarrassing expressions

“Don't hide your face from us” Sam whined. “I want to see the stars in your eyes" he purres. Guy moved his hands just low enough to cover only his mouth.

“Aaahh!~” Guy moaned, surprising Sam who realized he hadn’t done anything to warrant such a reaction. He looked over to Sal, seeing him twirling and kissing his Knox’s ear, one of his most sensitive features.

Guy was getting antsy. He was already feeling himself becoming wet with anticipation. He shivered when he felt Sam maneuvering down his body. The yellow who lifted himself off the couch, positioning himself between his lovers legs. Sam ran two fingers along Guys petal folds, feeling the Knox’s pussy tremble from the light patting.

Sal moved in, stealing a kiss from the distracted knox, he kissed him, then kissed him again feeling Guy leaning into it, accepting the affection wholeheartedly.

Sals tongue began to explore the insides of Guy’s mouth, ravishing the taste of him.

Sam ran his fingers along Guy’s delicate opening, careful to avoid going in to any depth, wanting to draw out his Knox’s desperation. He watched his friend and mate kiss, getting his own unique sense of pleasure when he saw Guy squirm between them.

Sam leaned his snout against Guys pelvis, pressing his nose into the shiny golden fur, he could smell the pine trees from the woods they had traveled down earlier.

Sam lapped his tongue down the treasure trail of fur that lead right to Guys groin, leaving a trail of saliva until his smooth tongue licked the surface of Guys slit.

Guy moaned, his legs twitched as he felt a sudden rush of pleasure emitting through him. Sam pulled his head back when the knox bucked his hips in an attempt to ride Sam’s tongue

Sam grinned, circling fingers gently around the wet opening of Guy’s body “the longer you wait.. the better the payoff" Sam said in a husky voice.

“I hate it when you tease me..” Guy huffed as Sal took a breather from their heated kissing

“How can you restrain yourself against such temptation” Sal asked Sam curiously

“I just want to admire that face a little longer" Sam grinned as Guy’s cheeks flushed, it was embarrassing to be put on a pedestal like this.

Sal shimmied down the couch beside Sam, he put his arms over his old friend’s shoulder “You go ahead and admire.. let me indulge~” Sal licked his lips then leaned between Guys legs, snuzzling into his thigh.

Sam looked up at Guy, his eyes burned with a deep desire. With Sal there to bring Guy pleasure Sam could watch his lovers every quiver, twitch and spasm.

As Sal flicked his tongue against Guy’s pink pearl the Knox’s expression was lovely as painting. The golden orange fur that faded into pink under those sky blue eyes left Sam breathless.

That intense look of desire on Guys face made Sam’s cock twitch.

Guys eyes were pools of emotions, even when the knox put on a hard exterior Sam could see the tenderness inside them.

Guy closed his eyes then moaned as Sal’s tongue went deeper, lapping against the others sensitive inner walls. Guy grinds his hips greedily against Sal’s face, stopping only when he felt hands grip his hips firmly and keep him in place.

Guy cried out, his toes curled as Sal's tongue fucked his slit. Sal's tongue was a powerful muscle, exploring every inch of Guy’s pussy without mercy.

Sam leaned on Guys thigh, patting the top of Sal's head as he ravaged his boyfriend. Sam leaned his head against Guy, running his tongue against the Knox’s nipple, which were now more delicate than ever.

Sam licked over his nipple back and fourth before scraping it gently between his teeth, causing a surprised gasp out of Guy, who put his hands on the back of Sam’s head, encouraging his continuation.

Sam could feel as Guys nipple became hard between his lips. He moved to Guys second nipple, breathing hot air onto it, making Guys fur stand.

Sal pressed three fingers into Guys convulsing body, feeling those muscles tighten around him as Guy was sent soaring.

He came suddenly, even Guy hadn’t expected it to hit so soon. His entire body tensed as waves of pleasure washed over him, his eyes filled with stars, a sight both Who’s would burn into their memories.

Guys body trembled from the exhausting high, his entire face went beet red “Sorry" he said meekly, the realization of how shameless and lustful he had been began to sink in.

Sal moved his mouth off of Guys center, licking Guys dripping fluids from around his lips. “don’t apologize” Sal commented from below. “That was wonderful, I want to eat you out all over again just to get a repeat viewing”

“What do you say Guy? Want an encore?" Sam giggled playfully, he was sitting on Guys lap, one arm around his shoulders while his fingers twirled in Guys mane.

Guy was panting, but there was no mistaken the greedy look in his eyes. He nodded “ahh.. y yes” his body was still recovering from that amazing high, and yet he craved more of it.

Sam smirked, despite Guys rough exterior and general grouchy-ness he’d let his façade slip when the mood struck him.

Sal grinned mischievously, eagerly putting his hands on Guys hips and grinding his groin between the Knox’s legs. Sam put his hand to Sal’s chest, halting any further movements.

“Hold on there old Buddy, let us relish this rare moment shall we?” It wasn’t often Guy was willing to risk rejection just to ask for affection, so Sam decided to savor it whenever the opportunity would arise.

“you really want it Guy?” Sam teased, finger caressing up and down Guys golden chest. “You want us.. to fuck you?”

Sal caught on quick, his expression mimicked Sam's, looking like twins are they both now stood between Guys legs, he could feel their members probing against his thighs, excitingly close to his opening

Guys face was flushing red again, oh why did Sam do this to him. “Yes.." he turned his head, trying to speak into his fluff to muffle the words

“what was that? I didn’t hear you" Sal feigned innocents

Sam lifted Guys chin, until they were looking eye to eye. “What do you want from us?~” Sam purred

Sal leaned his face against Sam’s “ask nicely”

“FUCK ME" Guy decided to get this over with much like a band aid, the quickest way was the least painful. “Please I- I want you both to fuck me” his eyes were full of need.

Sam and Sal let out an animalistic purr from deep in their throats. “We'd be happy to" Their cocks were standing side by side, pressed against one another. “Since you asked nicely" Their tips pushing up against Guys hole, which was still dripping wet from the lip service he had been given earlier.

The Who’s moved forward together, their tips pressed as one into Guys awaiting desire. The pressure was intense, his opening, although he was prepped his opening wasn’t large enough to accommodate two members without some stretch.

“Mmmf” Guy grunted at the discomfort, shutting and squeezing his eyes tight. He leaned back against the couch, feeling the two erect cocks pop into the confined of his body.

The boys huffed as their tips were engulfed, taking a breather to let Guy become accustomed to being so full. Their cocks squeezed tight together, sandwiched between Guys walls.

“Ahh.. don’t stop" Guy was becoming impatient.

The who’s obliged, both pushing their hips forward as their shafts slowly thrusts in deeper, until they bottomed out.

Guy was facing up at the ceiling, drool at the side of his mouth, stars in his eyes. He moaned with every movement, his muscles twitched with arousal.

Sam and Sal were both breathing heavily, sweat had begun collecting on their fur as their thrusts became rapid and body heat increased.

The two pumped their hips in separate motions, giving Guy no chance to recover from each attack on his sweet spot.

Sam put his hands on one side of Guys hips, Sal putting his hands on the other side, they both leaned forward, laying kisses along Guys chest, shoulders and neck. Given their short stature they couldn’t reach Guys lips, but managed to leave kisses along Guys chin and jawline.

“Awwwwh, ohh, hnnng harder!” Guy moaned, feeling close to his second orgasm.

Sam and Sal grinned at one another, stopping their thrusts, both of their members dangerously close to slipping out from Guy.

The Knox whined at the lack of friction, wanting to feel the who’s fill him up and pound into him again.

The two Who’s aligned themselves, then in one swift motion both pumped together at the same time, hitting Guys sweet spot, making him see stars and feeling his knees shake with intensity.

Sam felt his balls tighten, Sal felt a growing pressure in the pit of his stomach, their cocks as hard as they could get, leaking pre-cum into Guy, making his already dripping hole all the more slick.

The slick made their thrusting smooth, pounding in sync until Guy could no longer restrain himself. He wrapped his legs around his lovers, squeezing them close as he came hard. His body tensed, forcing his breathing to halt momentarily as he was swept up in sweet bliss.

Sam and Sal were close behind, gripping Guys hips tight as they came together, painting Guys walls white with their cum, feeling the ejaculation leaking out from the Knox.

Sam fell forward onto Guy’s stomach, Sal leaning on Sam’s back. His expression calm and satisfied, their fur was all sweaty, sticking together as they huddled and enjoyed the lingering effect of orgasm.

Sal was the first to pull out after a few minutes, his shaft flaccid again. He stretched his arms over his head and yawned as he stood “I would offer to let you use the shower… but..”

“Let me guess" Guys voice was grufter then usual, due to his parched throat “no running water?”

“smart and good looking" Sal joked, but it was pretty obvious, this cabin didn’t look frequently lived in.

“Don’t worry Guy! I saw a pond nearby you can wash in!” Sam said, voice high and chipper as it always was.

Guy just grunted at the suggestion. Sal walked towards the old refrigerator with the rusted handle. “Luke warm bottled water anyone?”

“Over here Sal-ly~” Sam wiggled his fingers in the air.

“Oh, I regret telling you my name already" he laughed, tossing Sam a bottle which he expertly caught. He tossed another to Guy, who nearly caught it, but instead it smacked him in the snout before he could react. He grunted, but opened the bottle anyway, tipping it against his lips and chugging until it was dry.

He also managed to apprehend Sam’s bottle, by tapping down the pointed fur atop his boyfriends head, distracting him enough to take it.

“What’s the big idea!” Sam whined

“going to clean up" Guy said as he walked down a hallway shaking the bottle of water.

“That’s fair. We did make a mess of him" Sal said after taking a swig of his own drink

Sam looked moodily at Sal “share yours?”

Sal tossed what was left of his bottle “Since we do share everything"

\--- 

“I am sure we will see each other again soon" Sal said as he hugged Sam good bye. “Good luck keeping him out of trouble" Sal winked to Guy, waving at them both as he started up his old vehicle. It coughed to life before the engine revved and it sputtered off down the road. 

It took a few seconds of waving before Guy froze.

“Wait a minute.. we forgot to ask for a lift" he looked deeply ashamed of himself.

“….OH!” Sam gasped “we did huh!?” he rubbed his chin.

“Any chance another one of your old time buddies will drive down here?” Guy asked, hopefully.

Sam shook his head “Don’t be silly! What are the odds of THAT happening!”

Guy signed “let’s get walking..” he hunched over, defeated. Dragging his unremarkable attache behind him. Sam skipped excitedly by his side.

The travel buddies walked down the rocky road together, excitedly awaiting where their journey would bring them next.


End file.
